Dear Change, We Don't Always Love You.

Why is change so hard?

May I let that question sit with you for a minute? Tomorrow I’ll have the opportunity to speak to a group of women at the Leadership Education Seminar. My topic is “Turnover & Transition” an eloquent title defined by change as we ask, “How do we lead through the change?”.  

Change is all around us. It’s in our personal life, a new season of life, at home or in the workplace, it’s in our relationships and community; it’s happening. Kids are taking their first steps, friends moving into new homes, graduates are starting college, parents are aging and friends are getting married and/or having babies. As I’ve heard them say in the South, “we’re all in the thick of it together.”

Whether it’s anticipated or unexpected, it’s the new. And we make the choice to either embrace it or resist it. What will you do? What’s changing in your life? What do you wish you could or could not change?

Most of the time my head screams embrace it, but my heart whispers wait, don’t. Other times, I can’t wait for things to change. (I’ll talk more about living in the “wait” in my next post.) Regardless of how the change comes, I’m praying that we’ll have the courage to welcome it. We want to be compassionate about the new, lean into the growth and opportunity with a smile and continue to remember that each season has a reason and a purpose.

Welcome, my friend. Change and new adventure awaits. What will you chose to do with it?

xoxo
Jes

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

If we're in a season of change, may we simply readjust our sails.  

I JUST Wanted To...

I just wanted to say, good morning! 

I just think this would be a good idea. 

Dear Lord, I just want to ask you for...

JUST.  A polite sentiment that I've been using over and over again. One not to intrude or interfere, but just to ask or just to say something. 

I read an article yesterday from Propel Women,  an organization dedicated to helping women internalize a leadership identity and find their purpose, passion and potential, titled "Three Words that Undermine Your Message" and the word "JUST" was top on the list! The author writes,

"This word is usually used as an explanation, but it comes across as weak, apologetic, and whiny. Sometimes we use “just” to make our idea seem small. That way, if someone doesn’t like it or doesn’t agree with us, we can brush it off without being hurt. The truth is that you have to believe what you’re saying more than anyone else does. You have to own it, not minimize it! Simply remove this word and the sentence becomes stronger, more direct, and confident." 

It hit me like a ton of bricks. The word "just" isn't bad nor wrong, but the way that I've been using it has been undermining the way I approach things, especially in my prayer life. Dear Lord, I just want to ask you to show me your way in this. It almost sounds as if I'm bothering God with my request.

Dear God, the Mighty Creator of the Universe, the Redeemer, the Giver of Life, the One Who Is and Can do all things, can you pretty please just help me? It's as if I'm saying, "I'm coming to ask for your help, but I'm unsure if you will or if you care or if this is even worthy of asking." 

Anyone? Or is it just me? 

I don't think this a matter of faith, but a preconditioning, politeness of the heart. We never want to inconvenience those around us, but sometimes when we approach God, we feel the same way. I'm afraid there might be an underlying, unnoticed tone in our hearts in which we feel this time our request may just inconvenience Him.

I believe God is who He says He is in the Bible. I believe that He is the same God who parted the Red Sea, shut the mouths of lions, saved guys from a fiery furnace, healed the sick and made a way for us to have eternal life with Him in heaven through Jesus Christ. I believe the stories of the Bible and I believe that He can do the same things today in 2016 as He did back then. 

And I've witnessed modern day miracles: babies being born healthy without a medical explanation, broken relationships and hearts being restored, sick being healed, addictions broken, people doing a complete one-eighty in their lives and seeing strength and courage given when something's hard to face. Yet, I still sometimes go to God as if I'm bothering Him. 

The truth of it, God cares about it all. He says in the Bible that He does (Psalm 139). Even the littlest as I've seen it in my own life. I've asked for the smallest of things - from needing to be on time for a meeting and hitting all green lights, to finding a new place to live as time is running out, to finding lost car keys and finishing a race when I didn't think I'd have enough strength to go the distance.  To be the biggest of things - healing of a broken heartache, finding strength to get up each morning and do life after the loss of my Momma, loving again without hinderance, bitterness, or fear after a divorce, and having the freedom to laugh, find joy and enjoy life after all the hardship in life. Those are big, y'all! 

I'm sure you have stories of the same. 

So let's be BOLD. Not just bold sometimes or occasionally, but always. Let's remember Who we are asking. Let's be the ones who are filled with gratitude and ask unapologetically and who love fiercely. Let's be confident in God's promises, His great love and His truth in the Bible. 

No more #justsaying. Instead #truth #boldness #confidence #compassion #love 

I don't just love y'all. I really do. 
xoxo
Jes

P.S. Are you in the wait of life right now or afraid to ask? This article is a great reminder as we pray and ask God. 

"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:12

"Call to Me, and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3

"Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deed, they would be too many to declare. Psalm 40:5

Laundry Love

Will take laundry detergent! 

Through our service project  last October with the Tuesday book club girls, we learned about Ms. Ruthie, an owner of a laundry mat in Pacific Beach, who does a lot for the local homeless community. 

A few of us decided that we'd like to meet Ms. Ruthie and take some laundry detergent to help support her "laundry love" efforts. We put together a small detergent drive for any laundry items--liquid detergent, laundry soap, dryer sheets, stain remover, etc. and coupled it with some travel-size toiletry items a friend and her family gave us. We gathered the items, took some time to pick a date, and finally ran down to PB to meet Ms. Ruthie and drop off the items. 

We arrived to a little quaint laundry mat where a sweet, unassuming lady met us behind a service counter in the back. We introduced ourselves as she was a bit shocked, but cheerfully surprised. We walked back to the car to grab the loot and once again met the same sweet lady still pleasantly riddled by our gifts. She gladly accepted and promised to give to anyone who needed. We chatted for a bit longer, promised to be back and to continue to keep her in our prayers. 

When we got into the car and drove away there was silence. Not a word from either of us for minutes. I was completely taken back at how easy it was to give. There weren't words for why I had waited so long to make a trip down to PB or why I haven't put forth more effort to grab an extra bottle of detergent while grocery shopping.

Finally, I broke the silence, "Wow, that was so simple. Why did we wait so long? How could that be so easy to do?" My heart was full of both love and guilt all at the same time. How did I get so caught up in ME that I'd missed little opportunities like that?

I was washed over with mixed emotions on how someone like me, who is blessed beyond measure, had dragged my feet in simply getting out of my bubble [or comfort zone!] to help...or do something for someone other than myself. With this in my heart and great counsel for a girlfriend, here's what we came up with: 

1. Any size gift or impact makes a difference. God says in the Bible that He cares more about the attitude and the heart of giver than the gift itself. The smallest random acts of kindness still makes a difference in someone's day.
2. Time doesn't stop. Such a simple and obvious truth, but we need to be reminded that putting something off until tomorrow can too soon become yesterday. If there's a nudge/desire/pull in your heart to do something, do it. We can't let busyness or perfectionism get in our way; otherwise we'll never get to it. 
3. Look down. When we compare ourselves to others, it's usually the times that we're looking up and suddenly aware of everything we don't have. Try looking down. Take a moment to become aware of everything you do have. Comparison is an instant joy killer and the quickest way to lose sight of your own blessings. When you do look down, most likely you'll see a need. And beyond that, typically a need that you can help meet. If you can't do it alone, enlist those other friends that are looking down too. God's love can motivate and move mountains. 
4. Generosity and kindness helps make the world go round. As if it's like magic, we tend to feel so much better when we give. Something special happens in our hearts when we take the attention (time and energy!) off of ourselves and refocus it to help someone else. Serving others brings meaning and fulfillment to our lives.  

With all of that, we decided to get in on the "laundry love" movement. Whether it's paying for a stranger's laundry, donating a roll of quarters, soap or dryer sheets, we want to encourage you to do something! And soon! Take a meal, share a smile, pay for some Starbucks, tutor a child, mow the neighbor's yard, or serve at a soup kitchen or local library. Share. Do. Give. We know it not only makes a difference in those around you, but in your life as well. 

xoxo
Jes

P.S. Want to donate to Ms. Ruthie's cause? Email me to drop off laundry detergent, dryer sheets, or other travel size toiletry items! 

 “You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.” And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.” ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭9:7-8‬ (‭NLT‬‬)

Paul says, "Here is my advice: It would be good for you to finish what you started a year ago. Last year you were the first who wanted to give, and you were the first to begin doing it. Now you should finish what you started. Let the eagerness you showed in the beginning be matched now by your giving. Give in proportion to what you have. Whatever you give is acceptable if you give it eagerly. And give according to what you have, not what you don’t have.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭8:10-12‬ ‭(NLT‬‬) 

Giving Back Today!

Oh my, I'm unsure where to start! Maybe I should begin with the Tuesday night book club or the Thursday girls night and Jen Hatmaker's "Interrupted" study, or the idea of missional living and Africa being in my backyard...and the stir in my heart to make a difference. I'll eventually introduce all of those to you, but what I have to tell you about is today. 

There's a group of us, who have been wrestling with the idea of "doing something" to give back to the community. We wanted to meet a need and share the Hope and love of Jesus Christ with those around us. 

We talked about donating clothes, making meals, pooling our money together to give to a cause, feeding the poor, clothing the homeless, helping with the fight against human trafficking and in all of our brainstorming, we landed on creating 25 bags of compassion. We decided that each girl would give $25 bucks for her choice of items to go into a bag that would be personally given to someone on the streets without a home.

The bags were filled with sandwiches, fresh fruit, socks, bottled water, toiletries, Halloween candy, and other goodies. A friend had recommended that we start at the public library in Pacific Beach as that was a popular place for many homeless in the area. Our missional living was off to an enthusiastic start! We knew that we wanted to do more than just pass out bags and call it done; we wanted to meet people, hear their stories, ask what they needed, and share a smile and warm heart. 

We met in the library's parking lot early this morning to finalize our outreach strategy and put the last touches on the bags. As we were finishing up, a clean-cut, friendly gentleman got out of his van to say hello and what we didn't know at the time was that this man was actually going to give to us.

We began chatting with him, asked if he wanted a bag, but he politely declined. He's an Army veteran who turned sixty on Thursday, just recently became a granddad and had sustained some injuries a few years ago which pelted him into a spiral of events leading to his once homelessness. He's no longer homeless as he receives a small income and lives a nomadic lifestyle out of his van. He made Jesus his Lord and Savior a couple years ago and talked about a peace that he's experienced ever since then. He talked about the people in the area and called them each by name, shared more with us about their needs (vitamin packs, hoodies for the cold, laundry soap, socks, sleeping bags, etc.), local meal services, and mentioned the kindness of the sweet lady who owns the laundry mat down the street. 

After Ron prayed with us, he offered to show us around and introduce us to his friends. Not once did we feel unsafe or uncertain around him or anyone. Our hearts were quickly filled with compassion for each of their stories. Many were grateful, but some were turned off. One man, Mr. Rick asked if we'd give one bag to his lady friend. Another asked for an extra pair of socks; Lawrence was grateful for the fresh fruit, Lily said "thank you", Sheryl smiled, Eric and "Word" let us pet their puppies, and one lady said said "no" and that she simply wanted to die. 

Ron showed us a side of San Diego that I hadn't seen. A community that needs us to acknowledge, to listen, to welcome, to love and to give. He spoke highly and gratefully of the people and organizations to came often with hot meals and donations of shoes and clothing. People are doing something and it's incredible. One gentleman and his family hosts a BBQ the fourth Saturday of the month in Marina Point park, another group provides free medical exams and treatment, and another free laundry services. There's a lot going on, but there's still more to do. 

Jesus said, "For the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few." Matthew 9:37

Whether in Christ's name or on your own, it's time for us to do something. Give back. We have way too much to keep it all to ourselves. Maybe it's coaching little league, joining a beach clean-up, shuttling kids to school, tutoring, fostering a child, volunteering for a not-for-profit organization or a service project, inviting friends over for dinner or helping the neighbors next door. Be a light. Be a smile, a kind word, or a gentle heart. 

As we're slowly on our way to "starting small" in our doing something big. I ask that you'll think about joining us next month! We might rally for detergent to take to the laundry mat or join the guy and his family at the BBQ, whatever it is, I'll tell you that it feels good to give back.

Email me if you're curious how to help!
xoxo
Jes

Finishing packing bags at Pacific Beach library. 

Ron showing us around Mission Bay. 

Life's Grand Slams

I don't ever want to miss another bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, walk-off-grand-slam again!  

Friday night my friend, Jess and I were at the Padres game. The company was great, but game was pretty long, the score was tied, we were tired and things didn't look too good for the home team. Little did we know that after we left with the score tied at the bottom of the eighth, a guy who had already struck out four times, would become the MVP with a walk-off grand slam to win the game!  And we missed it!! 

We made it through most of the game, but somehow missed the best part. How many times in life has that happened to you? I think about a few specific times that I cut myself short by not seeing a project to the end or halfheartedly finished a task early because I was tired. Maybe you're still waiting for the "one" to come along or you're tired of doing "what's right" and still not getting a look for promotion. Or is that you've tried to help a family member or friend, but it's still not working. Could it be the leadership role you're in is harder than you thought? Whatever that thing is, I encourage you to persevere.

Ask God to continue the good work that He's started. Lean into His Truth so that you'll find strength not give up. Let's not cut ourselves short by settling for anything less than God's best. Because after four strike-outs, there might just be the greatest grand slam ever. Don't quit before it's your time to get there! 

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Philippians‬ ‭1‬:‭6‬ 

So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Galatians‬ ‭6‬:‭9‬

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭13‬