Achieving those Goals

What happens when I don't make my year-end goal?

Once again, I'm fighting perfectionism. With 2017 quickly approaching, it looks like I'm going to be just shy of my 2016 SMART goal to write twenty-four blog posts in a year. The hardest part is that I'm trying to decide what to do about it. Am I going to try to sneak in four more posts? Or am I going to blow it off and beat myself up for not making my goal?

As a perfectionist, I'm battling the fight of perfect. I can't help, but to fight emotions and feelings of the desire for accomplishment and the success of "checking that off my list". Yet as a girl leading a busy life, my perspective is slightly and slowly changing and instead of the "what I didn't do" I want to take a moment to look at what I did do.

I did manage to write eighteen blog posts this year since February 2016. I also committed to paying for my own website and domain. I wrote my first-ever eulogy, thousands of emails, a five-day prayer devotion booklet for my girlfriends, countless carefully crafted Instagram posts, many thank you cards, three presentations, prepared one breakout session, eleven meeting agendas, weeks and weeks of Bible study introductions, and four Evite invitations. (Maybe that last one was a stretch, but I've been writing!) I'm not going to meet my SMART goal for writing, but I do have a lot to look at when I take a step back from staring that goal in the face. It's all about perspective, right?

What about you? What's got you hung up? Do you need a little room for perspective?

I don't want to make excuses for not setting and meeting goals; I want to make excuses for all of us fighting (and losing to!) perfectionism. We ain't perfect here and we wasn't ever gonna be.

 But, what if we were a little nicer to ourselves in celebrating even our smallest victories?

It's the motive and heart behind the goal. Why am I setting this goal? What am I trying to achieve? What can be learned? How can this better benefit those around me? Is this going to make a positive difference?

Those are the real questions that make our goals worth achieving. As I continue to write, I'll keep setting goals, work next year to make my twenty-four and keep working towards that big goal of writing a book one day! The reason why I write in the first place is to encourage and inspire others with God's love. Am I doing that? I sure hope so. 

Let's cheer on on each other as we set goals and work to accomplish them. Let's be there to rally and encourage when they don't match up. Help me to commit to persevere and cheer on the journey, not just the destination and the goals, but the people too!

Cheers y'all!

xoxo

Jes

 

“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:14-16  ‭

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I JUST Wanted To...

I just wanted to say, good morning! 

I just think this would be a good idea. 

Dear Lord, I just want to ask you for...

JUST.  A polite sentiment that I've been using over and over again. One not to intrude or interfere, but just to ask or just to say something. 

I read an article yesterday from Propel Women,  an organization dedicated to helping women internalize a leadership identity and find their purpose, passion and potential, titled "Three Words that Undermine Your Message" and the word "JUST" was top on the list! The author writes,

"This word is usually used as an explanation, but it comes across as weak, apologetic, and whiny. Sometimes we use “just” to make our idea seem small. That way, if someone doesn’t like it or doesn’t agree with us, we can brush it off without being hurt. The truth is that you have to believe what you’re saying more than anyone else does. You have to own it, not minimize it! Simply remove this word and the sentence becomes stronger, more direct, and confident." 

It hit me like a ton of bricks. The word "just" isn't bad nor wrong, but the way that I've been using it has been undermining the way I approach things, especially in my prayer life. Dear Lord, I just want to ask you to show me your way in this. It almost sounds as if I'm bothering God with my request.

Dear God, the Mighty Creator of the Universe, the Redeemer, the Giver of Life, the One Who Is and Can do all things, can you pretty please just help me? It's as if I'm saying, "I'm coming to ask for your help, but I'm unsure if you will or if you care or if this is even worthy of asking." 

Anyone? Or is it just me? 

I don't think this a matter of faith, but a preconditioning, politeness of the heart. We never want to inconvenience those around us, but sometimes when we approach God, we feel the same way. I'm afraid there might be an underlying, unnoticed tone in our hearts in which we feel this time our request may just inconvenience Him.

I believe God is who He says He is in the Bible. I believe that He is the same God who parted the Red Sea, shut the mouths of lions, saved guys from a fiery furnace, healed the sick and made a way for us to have eternal life with Him in heaven through Jesus Christ. I believe the stories of the Bible and I believe that He can do the same things today in 2016 as He did back then. 

And I've witnessed modern day miracles: babies being born healthy without a medical explanation, broken relationships and hearts being restored, sick being healed, addictions broken, people doing a complete one-eighty in their lives and seeing strength and courage given when something's hard to face. Yet, I still sometimes go to God as if I'm bothering Him. 

The truth of it, God cares about it all. He says in the Bible that He does (Psalm 139). Even the littlest as I've seen it in my own life. I've asked for the smallest of things - from needing to be on time for a meeting and hitting all green lights, to finding a new place to live as time is running out, to finding lost car keys and finishing a race when I didn't think I'd have enough strength to go the distance.  To be the biggest of things - healing of a broken heartache, finding strength to get up each morning and do life after the loss of my Momma, loving again without hinderance, bitterness, or fear after a divorce, and having the freedom to laugh, find joy and enjoy life after all the hardship in life. Those are big, y'all! 

I'm sure you have stories of the same. 

So let's be BOLD. Not just bold sometimes or occasionally, but always. Let's remember Who we are asking. Let's be the ones who are filled with gratitude and ask unapologetically and who love fiercely. Let's be confident in God's promises, His great love and His truth in the Bible. 

No more #justsaying. Instead #truth #boldness #confidence #compassion #love 

I don't just love y'all. I really do. 
xoxo
Jes

P.S. Are you in the wait of life right now or afraid to ask? This article is a great reminder as we pray and ask God. 

"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:12

"Call to Me, and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3

"Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deed, they would be too many to declare. Psalm 40:5

 

 

#SmallisBigChallenge

Over the past couple weeks, I've been writing and posting from the Heart Magazine #SmallisBigChallenge. Each day is associated with a word and a challenge to find grace, love and appreciation in the smallest.  

I've loved it! It's made me take time out of my day to think about and reflect on the littles (and bigs!) of my life. It's also encouraged me to write more and share my story via social media and the magazine's #ShareYourHeart campaign. (You can find my entires on Instagram at @jdelinde and the Heart Magazine's original post here.) 

@theheartmag #SmallisBigChallenge Day 15: Treat. 

Today's biggest treat is that my Dad turned sixty! My brothers and I are thrilled about being home to celebrate his birthday. He is the coolest dude and the best Dad a girl could ask for! After a tough year, celebrating is something that we love to do even more. We've each learned that life together is a gift.

I've also had the treat of having some amazing girlfriends in my life. These girls (pictured below) along with my cousin, Sarah Nicole have done a lot of life together since we were kids. From elementary school through college and soon into our thirties, we have lived full lives. From junior high cheerleading, Spring Lake church camp, first loves, bad break-ups and teenage independence, to degrees, careers, cross-country moves, many girls nights out, weddings and motherhood; even family heartache, disappointment and divorce--we have seen God's sweet bond of friendship continue to weave stories and memories in our lives.

Tara, Victoria, Rachel, Dad, me and Amber in May 2006. *See this post to fill you in on my little white dress.

Tara, Victoria, Rachel, Dad, me and Amber in May 2006. *See this post to fill you in on my little white dress.

Tuesday evening, we received terrible and unexpected news that our childhood friend, Tara had passed away leaving behind three sweet kids and a best friend for a husband. Words are beyond the tender heartache of the last few days as tears can only speak of life's goodness and pain all same. 

Ironically that morning, I had publicly posted that through God's loving grace and mercy, I could still smile after hurt and heartache.

Three days later and in a much different heart condition, I still hold onto that promise because of this simple truth: "I believe heaven is for real. I know the Hope of heaven and the promise of Jesus Christ will heal and that God is still near."

To only share the bright smiles and happy highlights, I'd be missing out on the rest of the truth that makes it my story. Life is made up of the goods and bads, the highs and lows; success and failure, joy and pain, love and hurt. 

But I also believe life is truly fueled by love and hope and faith. I believe God's plans are so much bigger than we can imagine and that each of our lives have a greater purpose than we know.

I am so grateful for my girlfriends--those in Arkansas, California and across the country--that I get to love, laugh and "do" life with. Whether it's every day or on occasion, over text, FaceTime or phone calls, these are God's gifts; and at the end of my time, I want to have loved my friends, family and those around me freely and fiercely.

"'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." -Alfred Lord Tennyson

Keep us all in your prayers!  

I love y'all to the moon and back.

xoxo

Jes

 

“No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” Romans‬ ‭8:37-38‬ 

Oh, Monday!

It's been a MONDAY! Seriously, a Monday. 

This morning I met one of my favorites for a morning walk and prayer knowing that I was going into the office later in the day. We walked, chatted, and prayed. This lady is sweet gift in my life; her mentorship is something I dearly treasure so to start my day with a quick date was awesome! After that, I went to look at a potential new condo and then made a pit stop at my favorite running route along the beach. 

I ran this morning with such thanksgiving in my heart. I was thankful for the day's flexible work schedule, the beautiful scenery, the sunshine, my family, friends, my cute guy, the possibility of a new place, the upcoming Bible study and leadership opportunities, the new year, and my job...my heart was overwhelmed and acutely aware of the blessings in my life. 

I hopped in my car and headed home to get ready for work. On my way home, I called a leasing agent to follow up on another condo that seemed perfect for my brother and I. It had everything we wanted (garage, two bathrooms, W&D, pet friendly) in a great location at the right price. To my surprise or demise, it was leased over the weekend. Oh my goodness! Talk about a punch in the gut and if that wasn't enough, I started to smell smoke in my car. I made it home safely to discover that my car was leaking copious amounts of oil. 

Within ten minutes my day had greatly changed. All with first world problems, but definitely problems! I was super bummed about the condo and the car maintenance didn't make it any better. 

And my attitude? I fought hard to keep that feeling of gratefulness and love for the Lord in the immediate situation. I took a couple deep breaths and made some phone calls. With no great solution and pacing with discouragement, I heard a clear thought that stopped me. It remind me that God was still the good Provider; He was still the same God of my blessing and the One that I was praising this morning. 

Do I know what's in store for the rest of the week? No clue. Today was a doozy! So I'm really not sure, nor have things greatly improved, but I did hear on the radio this afternoon that God knows and cares about every part of our lives--even the smallest of things. So in that promise and the verses below, I'll keep hoping and praying. Keep me in your prayers this week as I face the music, the moving and the car maintenance! Wish me luck as I get a head start on the packing today. :) 

xoxo
Jes

"Therefore we do not lose heart. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 16a-18. (NIV)

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13 (NIV)

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